Top 7 Horror Movie Weapons: Mass Destruction #TheWalkingDead #TWDUpdate
You had a bad day. Everyone has them. But what do you do when a dark and dreary evil unleashes some demonic force (as most dark and dreary evils do) and you are surrounded by hellish beings whose sole-existence is bent on your destruction? No, you can’t reach for your favorite blanket or comfort food… You reach for the most bad-ass weapon you can find! Here are mine, acquired from some of my favorite flicks. And depending what side you are on in these movies, you’d wish you were on the winning weapon’s side. Here’s what I mean as I share my list for Top 7 Horror Movie Weapons: Mass Destruction category.
7. Grenades (& Grenade Launcher) – Demon Knight, Samurai Princess & Planet Terror
You may not have heard of Demon Knight as it was a Tales from the Crypt title that was made for TV. But if you have seen it, you made have remembered a young Billy Zane (pre-Titanic) who starred as a eccentric demon. What stuck out to me in the movie was the grenade vest that two of the main characters used to sacrifice themselves in an effort to stop an evil demon before all hell breaks loose on earth. I just love well done comic to movie cross-overs and this was one of them. An honorable mention goes out to Samurai Princess for uniquely using dangerous grenades as grenade boobs. Yeah, really.
In the grind house horror movie Planet Terror, Rose McGowan’s character is outfitted with a M4 Carbine gun for a leg after loosing it in a gruesome zombie attack. The kicker is that the gun is also outfitted with a M203 grenade launcher. An exotic dancer that just got her leg ripped of equals one destructive chica you don’t want to mess with.
Effectiveness: 9 out of 10 as I give it an extra point for the added female attachment to the grenade launcher.
6. Rocket Launcher – It! The Terror from Beyond Space, Bad Taste & Resident Evil
Okay, having one of these puppies may seem a little unfair…to the bad guys. But hey, all is fair in loving war. And although this is not one of the most inventive items to make the list, it is one of the most effective. Oh yeah, and just because you have one of these in your inventory, doesn’t the bad guy doesn’t. Remember “Nemesis” from Resident Evil? And if you haven’t seen it already, Bad Taste, a horror-comedy directed by and co-starring Peter Jackson, has a hilarious scene involving a sheep.
I also have to thrown in, It! The Terror from Beyond Space, as the rocket launcher did contribute to killing the terror…from beyond space. You might enjoy it if you like Roger Corman titles. And what I loved about playing the Resident Evil games (on “hard” difficulty level) is that I could go back and instantly kill all the suckers that made it so painfully hard to beat the levels. All because I received the infinite rocket-launcher! Just as cool as when Hershel seemingly had unlimited ammo in his shotgun at the end of season 2 of Walking Dead. I saw it and instantly said, “Oh yeah, it’s a level of mastery to obtain. Ever play Resident Evil?” I got a lot of blank stares from friends that watched the show with me that day. And the weapon makes a very prominent appearance as an accessory of Nemesis in the movie.
Effectiveness: I give it a 7 out of 10 since I haven’t personally found any infinite rocket launchers and those things look bulky as hell. Great for justifying big explosions though.
5. Gatling Gun – Resident Evil & Dead Snow
While guns are a staple of seemingly every horror movie under the sun, a special place in my heart goes out to the Gatling gun. At 2,000-6,000 rounds per minute, its easy to see why these make key appearances in horror movies. It was a pretty memorable scene when Nemesis in resident evil was taking out the elite S.T.A.R.S. members.Although it is highly unlikely anyone would have a gatling gun fitted onto a snowmobile, I loved the idea and the appearance it made in Dead Snow. The movie has plenty of gore and bloody parts and the gatling gun gives the band of college students a fighting chance. If only they weren’t going against a whole army of Nazis. Kind of sucks when that happens, like in Call of Duty: Blacks Ops. I wanted to add Terminator 2 to this list because of the bad-assery that was Arnold wielding such a big weapon. But alas, it is not considered to be a horror movie. Still cool though.
And although it is highly unlikely anyone would have a Gatling gun fitted onto a snowmobile, I loved the idea and the appearance it made in Dead Snow. The movie has plenty of gore and bloody parts and the gatling gun gives the band of college students a fighting chance. If only they weren’t going against a whole army of Nazis. Kind of sucks when that happens, like in Call of Duty: Blacks Ops. I wanted to add Terminator 2 to this list because of the bad-assery that was Arnold wielding such a big weapon. But alas, it is not considered to be a horror movie. Still cool though.
Effectiveness: 9 out of 10 and would be a perfect 10 if you had infinite ammo and a his and hers version that would make it feasible to carry. Honorable mention to Schwarzenegger toting a Gatling gun in Terminator 2, but I don’t think its considered a horror movie.
4. Flamethrower – The Thing, Aliens, & 28 Weeks Later
Along the lines of the “shock-and-awe”-value that the rocket launcher delivers is its red-headed, evil twin known as the flamethrower. 1980’s film star Kurt Russell and his use of the flamethrower in John Carpenter’s The Thing created such moments that legends are made of. Of course, one of the most memorable scenes ever to use a flamethrower is with the character Ripley from Aliens when she takes on an entire hive of aliens while taking our the future alien generation by torching the eggs.
Just as frightening, but a a completely different way, was the scene in 28 Weeks Later when group of innocent civilians try to flee a government-ran city. As a man tries to save some of the survivors, he gets torched by the military enforcement who flood the streets and set fire to everything in their path. After that scene, I was so angry and in disbelief, I really didn’t care what happened to the rest of the survivors. That movie really had me by the emotional balls because of that scene. You know, if emotions could have balls and if I were a dude.
Effectiveness: 9 out of 10 because if you see one of these things going off, you run for your life in the opposite direction! Not the most light-weight item like the rocket launcher, but carries ‘shock-and-awe’-power for days…
3. Shotgun – Army of Darkness, From Dusk Till Dawn & Saw
Making numerous appearances in so many iconic films, I had to mention the shotgun and bump it up near the top of my list. No one can forget Ash’s introduction to his most beloved shotgun in Army of Darkness. After blasting a ghoul back into the well whence he came, Ash proclaims, “Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This…is my boomstick! The 12 gauge, double-barrelled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line…It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?!”
Also, super memorable, is the crucifix shotgun in From Dusk Till Dawn. I mean, what else could be more handy when taking out blood-thirsty vampires? There were other super-memorable guns in the movie, like the cock gun, but for the sake of this section, I’m sticking to the shotgun for now. The double-barrel shotguns that outfit the hall of the infamous killer in Saw were very threatening indeed and really gave us a glimpse into the mind of a methodical killer and his idea of a home-security system. Of course, the torture devices in all the Saw movies were the most memorable, but you can’t convince a monster to put a device over their head, especially while they’re trying to hurt you. Some honorable mentions is the use of the shotgun in Resident Evil and Hobo with a Shotgun.
Effectiveness: 8 out of 10 especially if you have one of the newer fully-automatic shotguns with and extended magazine. That’s probably what Hershel had from Walking Dead, only the extended mag was invisible.
2. Samurai Sword – Demons, Yoroi: Samurai Zombie & Walking Dead
A lot of action and Sci-Fi movies have featured the samurai sword. And more recently the sword has taken its place as a bad ass weapon in the horror genre as well. True experts of the samurai sword can ward off bullets with swift sword dancing poetry. Demons, a film written by Dario Argento, is a story about monsters that invite people to a movie theatre and then pick them off one by one by turning them into demons as well. One epic scene when protagonist George rides around on a motorcycle while picking demons off with a samurai sword. If you like campy horror like Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive or Bad Taste, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this title.
And what’s the point of using a samurai sword if you can’t use it in a samurai zombie movie? That’s exactly what went down when a family becomes prey to an undead samurai in a cemetery. It’s an interesting mix of horror with more serious themes peppered in throughout and is not your typical Japanese splatter film. Totally worth the watch. Lastly, I have to mention Michonne from Walking Dead, even though its a show, as she is so bad-ass with the sword. Even without the swords, I’m sure she could punch you in the throat and your head would snap clean off. She’s that good, but the swords give her that extra cool factor.
Effectiveness: 9 out of 10 as this weapon provides zombies slashing fun for days. Heck, if you have a true samurai sword and skill to wield this bad-boy, its sharpness and damaging power can last for years!
1. Chainsaw – Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Army of Darkness & American Psycho
The chainsaw is truly a weapon for all the senses. And it doesn’t get any more iconic than this: chainsaw + horror movie = awesome! You can hear it before you see it, loudly buzzing as you run for you life down a desolate road. You can smell the motor oil as it gets closer and closer to your personal space. It makes for great blood splatter scenes and, in the case of Evil Dead, an excellent make-shift substitute for a hand. And of course this weapon made ‘all-time horror movie fame of best weapons’ when it made its debut in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No one can forget Leatherface. I’ve tried but he successfully haunts me in my sleep every now and then. Good for him as I think that’s how these guys get royalty checks.
When the character of Ash from Army of Darkness fashioned a chainsaw onto the stump where he once had a hand (which he cut-off only for it to become possessed – naturally) I learned that good guys, too, can kick-ass with a chainsaw. It has been to date one of the best ways for any protagonist, in any movie, to deliver an “F-You” to the evil forces that took something precious from them. In this case it was Ash’s hand. Oh, and his girlfriend too, of course. And one of my favorite scenes from any movie was when the character Patrick Bateman goes running down a hallway naked with a chainsaw in his hands. Because nothing says “I love you” like a man chasing you down a hall, naked in high-top shoes. But hey, that’s just me.
Effectiveness: 10 out of 10. Because of the reasons I mentioned earlier, this makes for one of the most physical and mentally damaging weapons out there. Is it hard to conceal? Yes. Can enemies hear you coming? Of course, but that’s the point. Is it completely bad-ass? Absolutely!
So those are my picks for Top 7 Horror Movie Weapons: Mass Destruction category. Honorable mentions goes out to land mines, sharp things that rip like in Hellraiser and all futuristic weaponry that was showcased in movies like Predator and the Alien prequel Prometheus. Also love grappling hooks…Yeah, gotta love those.